Without further ado, here's our list of egg puns: Joke Yolk: As in, "Inside yolk " and " Yolk's on you" and " Yolking around.". Flirty - I would, but that's not what I'm allowed to do dirty. "What's wrong?" 19) A little girl and boy are fighting about the differences between the sexes, arguing which one is better. Holiday It's eggciting. 33. These jokes can easily be misconstrued, and you dont want to make anyone feel uncomfortable. "Lie to me! Eric finished his degree in primary education. ", 22) One day, there were two boys playing by a stream. Now, where do you want me to install these blinds?". 82) What do you say when balls are slapping against your chin? What do you call a rooster looking at a piece of lettuce? 33) If sex with three people is called a threesome and sex with four people is called a foursome, I guess now its clear why everyone calls me handsome. This is 2021. If you like this egg joke, you'll also like these 43 devil puns from hell. ", 12) A couple gets married, and on their wedding night, the wife asks what a penis is. 46) A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn't paying attention, so she asks him, "If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?" But in addition to being healthy, eggs are full of amazing egg puns and egg jokes. I came three times trying to wash that shit off. Life is like a penis Often hard for no reason! ", 32) A young man goes to see his doctor and the doctor tells him, "You need to stop masturbating?" Egg Memes - 25+ Funny Laughs at Egg Prices That Will Crack You Up! He comes out ten minutes later and says, "Heck. "That's okay," said the young man. The husband looks at his friend, and proudly proclaims, "Now that, my friend, is how you waft a fucking towel. A: Because it was stuck to the chicken's foot. We need more butter. I fell asleep in her bed and didn't wake up until eight o'clock." 39) Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels. Whats a hens favorite shipping company? ", The lady responds, "Well, my husband and I were watching TV last night when I said, 'Hey, tomorrow is the mailmans last day, think we should do something?' I've been having an affair with my secretary. I went to the store today and bought some really oddly shaped eggs. Hallelujah!". Some of those jokes are dirty jokes (never appropriate but) always funny. Turn them! That way, it'll never come for me. she yelled, "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" Eggs Jokes #119 - 110. Adults GEGS. Will Jog for Eggnog. 46. How do you make a pool table laugh? "Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddys penis in your mouth. The doctor asks, How long has he been like this?. Folk Yolk: As in, "Different . You cant make an omelette, he said, as he scraped itinto the bin. Why are girls called chicks? Masturbation always leads to sex. 79) What do you call a person who doesnt masturbate? ", 56) A professor was giving a lecture on involuntary muscular contractions to his first-year medical students. What do you call a chicken with a feasibility study? He doesnt want anyone knowing hes f*cking a chicken., I asked my wife, Which came first, the chicken or the egg?Without hesitation, she responded, The Rooster did. What do you get if you cross a chicken and a lizard? The retired guy goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I ache all over. Summer Then Johnny asks the teacher, "You see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor. Where's the best place to . The wife can't orgasm because it's too damn hot. Ive never let a garbanzo bean on my chest. His work has been featured in New York Times, Rolling Stone, Washington Post, Playboy, and more. The dictionary! 40) Son, I found a condom in your room., 41) Mickey Mouse is in the middle of a nasty divorce from Minnie Mouse. A man was driving along a freeway when he noticed a chicken running alongside his car. "Oh, nothing special. Later that night in bed, the husband makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off. Here is a collection of funny and dirty egg jokes that will definitely get you laughing. Enjoy! 8) My girlfriend thought I'd be a pushover in bed, and wouldn't you know it, she had me pegged from the start. An egguana! What came first, the chicken or the egg? She wanted to hachet. Later that day, he finds the rooster lying pale, half-dead with vultures circling over its head. Our product picks are editor-tested, expert-approved. 28. I never count my chickens before theyre hatched. ", 62) A woman asked her friend, "Why is your husband so punctual when returning home from work?" Winter "Wow," the boy replies. "Darling," replied the man, "I can't lie to you. The teacher asks, "Why?" 1. Because s*x cells. To get to the other side! #3. I said be CAREFUL! Lie to me! Are you sure there is nothing you can do for me?" The doctor thought for a moment then replied: "I could boil you an egg!" 25 Doctor Jokes. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex." I said, Youre right, its supposed to be up the bum! Why couldnt the paleontologist find any Dodo eggs? You can begin with egg puns for Instagram or one line egg jokes for sharing memes with friends to have fun on social media. What does a hen say when she lays an egg? A wife was cooking her husband fried eggs for breakfast. That was just an insect." You've already got a mouthful! One of them looks to the other and says, "I had the best time last night. ", She winks and replies, "Why yes I am." Melt the butter in a frying pan over low heat. The other two boys questioned how his dad does that. Let's start with a few basics. Animals Everyone always tells me Im too cagey. "Dad, what's that thing hanging down under the elephant?" Some blame it on inflation and corporate greed, others point are quick to point out an egg shortage due to the bird flu. But breakfast was my idea!. The horse grinds to a stop just at the edge of the cliff. Questions 106) What do you call an expert fisherman? 56. Have you any ideahow disgusting that is? Enjoy a quiet day indoors. 60 Funny Dirty Jokes for Adults Short Rude And Funny Dirty Jokes #1. Instructions: More jokes about: communication, mean, men, women When a woman gets a vibrator, it's seen as a bit of naughty fun. The other boy went over to the bush and looked. My wife is better than that." ", 88) An old man is at his bedside praying when his wife says, "What are you doing?" Moreover, you can share these puns on the egg with friends and family over text or use them directly with them. Dont forget to salt them. 19. 6. Beef stroganoff. Animal Condoms have evolved: They're not so thick and insensitive anymore. 52) Two men visit a prostitute. Trivia Questions The first egg says "It's boiling in here". My sons asked for a strange Christmas present this year. 83) What did the left nut say to the right nut? Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. I was having sex with this poor girl and I was trying my best, but I was like Scotland at the World Cupjust happy to be there. Egg say every morning to Mrs. he asks. 93) I went out dressed as a chicken last night and met a girl who was dressed like an egg. Manage Settings If youre telling the same tired-ass jokes, youre not going to be funny. What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer? 27) My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. 72) I used to date an English teacher, but they dumped me for improper use of the colon. Dissolvable relationships. She keeps ducks.. the man exclaims. What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer? 100) I told my mom that I have an Oedipus complex. 49. A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar that reads: CHEESEBURGER: $1.50 CHICKEN SANDWICH: $2.50 HAND JOB: $10.00 He walks up to the bar and beckons one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks. Title of the movie. Lie to me!. 155 Dad Jokes // 86 Dark Humor Jokes // 50 Offensive Jokes Table of Contents #150 - 140. Raw Chicken Jokes. Looked around and collected some of the funniest dirty jokes only for adults. Anyway, here are some egg-quisitely rotten jokes about eggs. 21. By dropping it seven feet. Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather; perverted is when you use the whole bird. Dirty Joke 1. They make up everything! 100. It's a gateway tug. ", 54) A man is walking down the street, when he notices that his grandfather is sitting on the porch in a rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down. But suddenly today hes eaten a dozen Kinder eggs whole. The chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs. Kids When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and took advantage of her right there." Egg Jokes #129 - 120. Oh my GOD! If a dove is the "bird of peace" then what's the . Ghost And if they've got eggs, get six.". 26) How is life like toilet paper? All right. 5. Add the milk and beat together. My wife pranked me this morning. Enjoy! But if you're bold enough to deliver a punchline, you deserve the laughs it'll earn you. asked Grandpa. Embarrassed and trying to spare her young son's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry, dear. Studying A man was driving along a freeway when he noticed a chicken running alongside his car. When it comes to cooking eggs, it all boils down to hot water. How do you know if youve got a rotten egg? 111) Whats the difference between you and an egg? The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, "Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. 42) Why couldnt the lizard get a girlfriend? I live in the North of Spain with my husband & 4 cats, and when I'm not writing, you can find me reading on the beach with a cocktail in hand. 102. 34) Without women sex would be a pain in the ass. 108) What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say? ", 61) A husband says to his wife, "I bet you can't tell me something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time." 104) What's the difference between your boyfriend and a condom? Funny Comebacks to Say Christmas 69 Seriously Dirty Jokes and Memes (That Will Make You Cover Your Eyes), MOST Corny and Cheesy Jokes That Will Make You Groan at its Corniness, Funny Questions to Ask That Will Make Everyone Burst Out Laughing, A Collection of Funny Knock Knock Jokes Perfect for Every Occasion, Unicorn Jokes That Will Make Your Little Believer Laugh, Funny Vacuum Jokes That Will Make You Laugh While You Clean, Alligator Jokes You Wont Scare To Laugh At, Funny Jeep Jokes to Keep You Entertained While Off-Roading, Maine Jokes That Are Maine-T to Make You Laugh, Funny Deez Nuts Jokes Youll Never Forget. 25. 16. The teacher says, "No, there are two left, but I like how you're thinking." 23. Please go the grocery store and buy one. Good eggs are eggsceptionally friendly, whereas bad eggs are just eggnorant! 37 Deez Nuts Jokes // 80 Chuck Norris Jokes // 75 Yo Mama Jokes He's afraid to cough!". Doctor, doctor. What do Disney World and V*agra have in common? 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You say when she lays an egg asking for consent cough!.!